When I was a young attorney, I attended a real estate closing with a female real estate partner in my office. She had been practicing for years, had successfully navigated the pressure cooker of working in a large law firm, was on several prestigious boards, and had a cache of clients willing to pay her top dollar for her advice. She was the living version of what I thought a successful woman attorney was supposed to be. While we were in the car traveling to the closing, we talked about careers in the legal profession and balancing it all. Being a newbie, I was anxious to soak up any nuggets of wisdom she might pass along. Instead, she said, “Really, anybody can do what I’ve done. I was just in the right place at the right time and was lucky enough to have found a good mentor.” I remember the panic I felt because what she was telling me was that her success was not of her own doing; and therefore, I was out of luck in trying to replicate it.
Impostor Syndrome & Explanatory Style
When people attribute the causes of their success to luck, the faulty judgment of their boss or company decision makers, or random good timing, they are experiencing the “Imposter Syndrome” or the “Imposter Phenomenon” which prevents them from internalizing their accomplishments. Where the outside world sees nothing but talent, imposters focus on nothing but failure.
While Imposter Syndrome is something many view as affecting mainly women, men are not exempt. From a behavioral standpoint, women who feel like imposters might struggle to speak up, not asking for better projects, raises, or promotions, hoping instead to be picked or chosen for those rewards based solely on the quality of their work. On the other end of the spectrum, some women act aggressively and overly superior so as to cover up their fear of being found out (Reynolds, 2011). According to Langford and Clance, “male imposters may tend to compensate by pushing themselves in a frenetic manner in order to prove their competency.” However, men tend to be less likely to let Imposter Syndrome undermine their careers.
A big psychological driver of Imposter Syndrome is what Dr. Martin Seligman calls a pessimistic explanatory style. (Learned Optimism, New York Vintage Books 2006) When a woman with a pessimistic explanatory style has success, she thinks the causes of that success are temporary, based on external factors (like luck, timing, or other people), and unlikely to have a ripple effect (that is, positively impact other areas of her life or work). Conversely, a woman with an optimistic explanatory style attributes her success to her own doing (“I worked really hard, and it’s paying off”), knows she can capitalize on that success to bring about more success at work and potentially other areas of her life, and can keep the momentum going so that the cause of the success isn’t temporary.
What Does This Mean for You?
As you go through your day, pay attention to your thought process and keep track of how you explain the causes of your success. Start focusing on how you contributed to your success and set goals to capitalize on wins.
In addition, say yes to things that scare you. If public speaking is not your thing, but it’s part of your job or an additional skill you need to get to the next level, then do more public speaking. It will probably suck at first, but the more you do it, the more ammo you will have to shoot down irrational fears.
Finally, savor each and every success you have. High-achieving women tend to go straight to the next project, and imposters often wonder whether additional successes are lurking around the corner.
A little bit of nagging doubt can sometimes push you to drive harder, but whatever you do, don’t forget about what you’ve already accomplished.
Paula Davis-Laack, JD, MAPP, is a lawyer turned positive psychology practitioner, professional coach, and work/life expert specializing in stress, work, and lifestyle issues for high-achieving women and girls. Paula also speaks to organizations and law firms on the topics of work/life balance, stress, and resilience. Connect with Paula via: her website, on twitter, and facebook.
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I think it is a mistake to label a woman’s self-deprecating behavior as imposter syndrome or low self-esteem.
The social costs of high achievement and success are often excessive; others frequently dole out punishment toward women who are perceived as ‘not knowing their places’. Many women try to cope with these sanctions by minimizing their accomplishments.
It is my personal view that stigmatizing women with labels such as ‘low self-esteem’ and ‘imposter syndrome’ is a form of sexism.
Hi Lisa,
Thanks so much for your comment. I like how you’re thinking about self-esteem and Imposter Syndrome (“IS”), but I have to say that I tend to somewhat disagree with what you’ve outlined. Self-esteem and IS are two distinct animals. Self-esteem is a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of his/her worth, while IS is being unable to internalize one’s accomplishments. I think that low self-esteem may be a driver of IS, but I see them as separate and distinct from each other.
Many women I have talked to feel relieved to know about IS because then they can do something about it before it really has a negative impact on their career. As a result, I don’t think it’s discriminatory or sexist at all. I think that it opens a conversation with the person to figure out root causes and course correct faulty assumptions and thinking styles, which many high-achieving women carry.
Thanks again for your comment.
Hi Lisa. I found your comment really interesting because for myself and others I’ve coached, the self deprecating behavior we have experienced – probably IS from reading Paula’s description – turned out to be really unnecessary, when we tried being without it. In other words, we made up stories in our heads that we had to act this way to be “accepted” – thus prejudging other’s opinions and behaviors. Of course sometimes that was true, but in the vast majority of cases, it wasn’t! If we act without self deprecation – simply stating an opinion or decision without prejudging or prequalifying it – or not stating it – nothing terrible happened and it was revealed just how much was in our own head, assumptions that were unjustified. As Paula said, others simply saw us a competent.
I’m not saying that there aren’t those who will penalize us for being successful, but in my experience it’s far fewer than we think and in overreacting, we do ourselves a disservice by not simply being the strong, competent women we are – letting those who can handle this work with us and those who can’t deal with the fact that they’re intimidated.
I don’t really understand how you see it as sexism to encourage women to put their true competence out there without shame or embarrassment. Maybe I’m missing something in your comment, though, can you elaborate?
Paula – Great article. Thanks for making the distinction between self-esteem and IS. It’s an important distinction and my experience is like yours, that helping people understand it can be really INpowering!